Updated: Jan 13
Happy New Year, and welcome 2021…
Here I am fulfilling (or at least beginning to fulfil) one of my New Year’s resolutions… to write more blogs and posts for Wu’s social media and website. And if what I write resonates with you then there will be at least more than one beneficiary to this new resolution.
It is only right to pay our passing respects to 2020, which was a year of extraordinary challenges for everyone, especially those directly affected by the lockdown and events of last year. My thoughts go to anyone whose lives have been directly impacted by the what has been happening around the world.
For anyone who I have had the pleasure of working with in the past year will know, I do not let my clients dwell for too long on the negative emotions of their past. However, our past experiences do provide us with the important lessons and corner stones for us to learn, evolve and to form our character—to make positive changes and actions from, whether those experiences are good or bad, happy or sad (this is almost turning into an Al Green song…)
Any more Al Green song references relevant to 2020 - Tired of being alone?
For it is how we respond to events in our lives that serves to develop us as human beings, providing us with with our own unique personalities and defining aspects of our character.
One such aspect I wish to focus on as we enter 2021 is our “resilience” to change.
As I had the chance to reflect on my own experiences from the past year, having taken some downtime with my family over Christmas (including our new excitable kitten Oswin!), I was able to have some really meaningful conversations with some of the most important people in my life. I have also had the chance to listen to those that I choose to turn to for motivational or spiritual direction, who have also reflected and have had their own take on how to respond to last year’s events in preparation for what may be ahead.
One theme that repeatedly came up in conversations and in videos I have watched has been about how “resilient” we are to the challenges we face in today’s world, as well as preparing for the days, weeks months, and maybe even years ahead.
There are many areas of our lives where our resilience will have been tested over the past year. You may wish to consider how your own resilience has been affected in the following aspects of your own life:
Your physical health and immunity;
Your mental and emotional health and development;
Your friendships, family and relationships;
Take some time to reflect on the above areas of your own life and consider how your resilience was tested in each area. What were the pressure or trigger points for each during 2020?
Taking an honest look in the mirror is always the best starting point before making positive change to your life.
How did you stand up to each of these challenges, and how did they affect you?
You can go a bit deeper and ask yourself further questions, such as:
What did you learn about yourself from these experiences?
Did you always respond well to challenges, or did you react out of fear?
What challenges may you expect in each of these areas of your life during 2021?
How may you respond differently this year?
Do you have the resources to respond more effectively?
What can you do to make yourself more resilient to the challenges that may come up?
What influenced your response to different situations i.e. was it your own intuition, or did the influence come from elsewhere?
Once you begin asking these questions and finding the answers from within you can begin journaling and creating solutions to potential challenges and see how prepared you are for what might be ahead in 2021.
For example, you may ask how many more periods of lockdown can your business or job survive? What could you do to diversify your skills? What challenges could you expect? How would you overcome these?
If gyms and fitness centres remain closed and you also have to home school your children, how will you find the time, energy and space to exercise to stay fit and well?
We will all have faced similar types of challenges during 2020 and we will all have had our own unique lessons about what has worked for us and what has not gone so well.
These are important lessons to take into 2021, when it may well be wise to expect the unexpected again.
Fortunately the human mind is creative and is adaptable to different environments and changes in circumstances.
However, creative solutions can be limited to come by if your mind is not tuned into the correct frequency. If your mind is suppressed into negative thought patterns of fear and uncertainty then you will find it far more of a challenge, and sometimes impossible to to be pragmatic and resourceful to make change.
So what can you do?
One thing you can do is stop giving attention and energy to what it is that gets you into those negative thought cycles. This can be easier said than done but you can begin by taking a break from social media, the news and anything else that might be filling your head with concerns and worries about what is happening in the world.
Also, focus on what you can affect positively. It is easy to get lost in the world's problems and wanting to change it all. In truth the most effective change you can make to the world is by making smaller changes closer to home, by starting with yourself first.
My book 'Mind Over Lockdown' talks about a number of simple mindful practices that you can introduce into your daily routine that will help reduce stress and improve focus on your personal goals. It is available for just £5 and any money that I make on this and other digital content helps me keep Wu's session prices down for those who's lives have been adversely affected by recent events. Please see my Shop for more details about my book and other available digital content.
The arrival of our new kitten Oswin has tested our 'resilience' in many positive ways!
Let's talk about ‘Cause and Effect’.
This is a term used a lot in therapy, and describes where someone is in relation to a problem or situation. It can be revealing as to where someone’s personal power lies by seeing whether they are at cause of a situation (i.e. they have it within their control) or at effect (i.e. they are being controlled by the situation or problem).
As a therapist it is my job to help my clients to move from being at the “effect” side of a situation to the “cause” side, so they become in control. Often I see this as the client regaining or finding their own personal power or freedom in one or more aspects of their life.
For example, if someone comes to me with a fear of spiders, there will be certain decisions and choices that they make that will be influenced or limited by whether they are likely to come into close proximity with one or more of our furry, eight-legged friends! So in that aspect of their life they are living in "effect" of the situation - they are being controlled rather than being in control.
In extreme examples they may even avoid using their own bathroom or bedroom, because they fear they are going to encounter spiders. In such a case their power has been given to the perception that a spider may be lurking and waiting in either the shower or on the pillow of their bed. With this example, hypnosis is one way for them to overcome their fear and for them to be put at "cause" of the situation. Once resolved, they can walk happily and freely into their bathroom or bedroom to deal with their new friend without any fear. By working on their resilience they have regained their personal power, without anyone getting harmed, not even the spider!
So how does this relate to the current global situation?
Well, ask yourself whether you are at cause or effect of the current lockdown situation?
Again, you may want to look at the different aspects of your life I mentioned earlier. Do you hold the power and freedom in all aspects of your life or have you given some or all of that power to someone else, or do you feel it has been given to another authority?
In other words, are you waiting for the situation to change before you can change, or are you willing to start making changes yourself?
If you do feel powerless, what can you do to regain or find your power, to take control of your freedom in those situations?
Firstly, if you do feel powerless then never be afraid to ask for help, support or guidance from someone else, whether it be from a family member, friends, or support services or charities.
Here at Wu we can also provide a free consultation if you have been suffering from any emotional or mental anxiety through, or compounded by events of the last year. Further to this, we will offer discounts on our hypnotherapy and life coaching services if you have been affected in any way by events relating to lockdown (see below).
If the support we provide is not suitable for you then we will do our best to refer you to the right place for the support you need.
Start with yourself
To make sure you are resilient in all the different aspects of your life it is so important to spend time working on yourself, whether it be exercise, meditation, setting yourself projects and goals in different ares of your life. Giving yourself the healthiest of diets and supplementing your immune with the right vitamins and minerals is also important. Remember to connect to others too, as in these times the fibres of our community are being tested and we can keep them strong by exercising our availability to those that need support.
And yes I did say “setting goals” in that last paragraph! Even during these uncertain times it is important to keep your focus on what you want in your life and to strive for the best possible reality for yourself. There is still a lot to be achieved in a changing world that is no doubt going to be looking very different. So do you want to take part in moulding that new world, or do you want to be moulded into that new world?
So whether you choose to wait and watch what happens, or if you are ready to choose to begin creating your new future now, ask yourself honestly as you look ahead to 2021: “Do I have the resilience and personal power to be the best I can be, for myself and those around me, for whatever future lays ahead?”
We have a range of support available at Wu Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching Limited if you have been affected by the events relating to lockdown, or if you are looking to set new goals or realise new opportunities.
'Lockdown Resilience' services from Wu
(Click on the links to see more details for each product or service):
20 Minute telephone consultation: £ Free
Mind Over Lockdown E-book: £5.00 - all sales of my e-book (plus other digital content on our site shop) will help subsidise all future sessions for those affected by lockdown. The more sold the greater the discount we can offer.
Wu Mind Gym (group) sessions: £10..00 a month after initial twoweek free trial (meditation, mindful exercises and weekly social connection)
Hypnotherapy & Coaching First Sessions: 50% off your first session if your life has been affected by events relating to lockdown (e.g. overcoming fears, stress, anxiety, job or financial loss, personal loss, bereavement or grief). Contact us for more information
Hypnotherapy & Coaching Follow up Sessions: 10% off all follow up sessions if your life has been affected by events relating to lockdown (arranged after first session).
Prime Life Coaching: Coaching for your short, medium and long term goals. Programmes are available at concessional rates over different periods, from one to twelve months.